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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22834156">Just Hold On</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phan_of_Shipping/pseuds/Phan_of_Shipping'>Phan_of_Shipping</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EastEnders (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>35th anniversary, Episode Related, Extended Scene, M/M, ballum - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:00:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,832</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22834156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phan_of_Shipping/pseuds/Phan_of_Shipping</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Callum had no idea what the time was. He couldn’t see his breath drifting away from him so it probably wasn’t the night anymore. He’d given up trying to work it out. </p><p>He couldn’t stay here by himself any longer, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lay and jump at every sound, he couldn’t lay and ignore the gnawing of his stomach, the cry of his ribs, the thoughts of Ben, the thirst, the worry that everytime Keanu left he would never be coming back. The worry that he’d lay on this damp, cold ground until his last shuddering breath left his body and his heart stopped.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just Hold On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is set just before Ben gets the video from Keanu in Thursday's episode to the end of the episode. This is my first Eastender's fic, I hope you enjoy :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Callum had no idea what the time was. He’d given up trying to work it out. </p><p>Callum was curled on the unforgiving ground, trying to stay as warm as he could and willing his mind from slipping into darker and darker places. He heard a sound and instinctively jolted, hissing as he moved too quickly and his sore limbs cried out in protest. More parts of Callum were turning numb and even if his hands weren’t tied together so tightly they probably still would be losing their sensation from the bitter wind. He tried his best to manoeuvre himself so that he was leaning against the raised slab of concrete he sometimes sat on - even that had become too much of an effort in the last few hours… <i> days… weeks? </i></p><p>Keanu appeared around the corner with his phone clutched tightly in his hand. Callum watched as he paced anxiously. Callum was on edge constantly with his brain trying to run at a million miles an hour whilst combating the dehydration and lack of food. </p><p>“I think Ben needs another video.” Keanu’s voice broke into the silence. </p><p>“No please Keanu, <i> please.” </i> Callum begged as Keanu stalked towards him. </p><p>Callum tried the best he could to duck out of Keanu’s hands but Keanu took a hold of the chains attached to Callum’s hands and tugged him forwards. He kept Callum’s hands down whilst he forcibly pushed the gag back into Callum’s mouth. The fist that connected with his cheek came out of nowhere causing Callum to gasp and fall backwards onto the ground. His breaths came shuddering out of his nose and suddenly things that stopped aching started up again.</p><p>Keanu pulled his phone back out of his pocket and aimed it onto Callum. He did his best to brace himself for whatever was to come but couldn’t help but cry out against the gag when Keanu’s foot stomped down onto his side. Another kick came into his ribs and he felt things creak and bend this time. The force of the kick caused him to roll over and he tried desperately to get some more oxygen into his shallow lungs. His chest rattled as he coughed and he sagged on the sacks underneath him, hardly caring that it was digging into his bloody cheek or that the ropes binding his wrists rubbed and chaffed.</p><p>“You’ve got me one hour to get that money or he’s a dead man.” Threatened Keanu. </p><p>Callum tried desperately to keep his emotions together but he was fraying at the edges and coming apart. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. </p><p> </p><p>
  <i> I can hear the sound of your barely beating heart. Pieces on the ground from the world that fell apart. </i>
</p><p> </p><p>It was a while before Callum managed to get up, slightly. He was hunched back against the concrete, barely able to manage anything more. Keanu had been silent for a while just standing in the half-light, phone still in his hand. The only thing he’d done was wrench the gag back out of Callum’s mouth. </p><p>His phone rang and Callum looked up. Maybe it was Ben? If it was maybe he’d be able to hear his voice?</p><p>His heart dropped when the phone went back down to Keanu’s side. </p><p> </p><p>“Sharon don’t know, does she?” He said tentatively. Keanu’s control was visibly slipping and maybe, just <i> maybe, </i> there was still part of Keanu left to reason with. </p><p>With screaming limbs Callum lifted himself into a sitting position.</p><p> </p><p>“Cos if she did, she would have talked you out of this.” Callum tried. Even talking now was taking a toll on his body.</p><p>“I don’t even know where my little girl Peggy is Callum. I don’t know if i’m ever gonna see her again.” Replied Keanu.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t know if he was ever going to see Ben again. </p><p> </p><p>“I won’t ever see her first steps, hear her first words…”</p><p>Even after everything, Callum couldn’t help but feel a little sympathy for Keanu. It wasn’t over for him, there was still a chance that they could both walk away from this and he had to try.</p><p>“You need to think about what you’re doing; who knows how Louise is gonna feel in a couple of years. And Peggy, she’s got a <i> lifetime </i> full of firsts you can still be a part of Keanu.” Callum said, thinking of Lexi and all the firsts he wanted to have with Ben and her. Go trick or treating, take her ice skating, bake a cake together, “You can get to see that Keanu but not if you carry this on.”</p><p>Keanu rubbed his face tersely. </p><p>“You’ve got to think about how much you’ve got to lose.”<br/>
<i> How much we’ve both got to lose </i> went unsaid.</p><p>“I’m not the bad guy here Callum!” Shouted Keanu. </p><p>All Callum could do was look away, to stop himself spitting venom at the man who had chained him up, left him in the cold, beaten him and given him only mouthfuls of food and water.</p><p>“I don’t want to do this, I've got no choice!” Added Keanu.</p><p>“Yes you do! <i> Yes you do! </i>” Callum bit back angrily. There’s always a choice, “This is only going to make things worse.”</p><p>Callum felt his control start to slip, “You’ve still got family on that square! Phil ain’t gonna stop coming for you and after this, Ben ain’t either.” His words were beginning to slur as the sheer emotions of having this conversation began to drain his energy, slow his brain.</p><p>“You need to stop this. Before it’s too late.”</p><p> </p><p>Keanu’s phone rang again. This time all Callum could do was take a couple of deep breaths and shift his body minutely. </p><p>But Keanu said Ben’s name. Even just hearing it Callum perked up, lifting his head from his chest to try and listen to his voice.</p><p>Keanu was breathing hard and his fist was clenched. “Ben if you-”</p><p> </p><p>What was happening? “What’s he done? Keanu? What has he done?” Callum’s heart began beating rapidly. What had Ben done?</p><p>Keanu stood poised on his feet before turning quickly and sprinting. </p><p>“Don’t leave me here! <i> Don’t leave me here!” </i> He cried out desperately trying so hard to spin round. </p><p>He couldn’t stay here by himself any longer, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lay and jump at every sound, he couldn’t lay and ignore the gnawing of his stomach, the cry of his ribs, the thoughts of Ben, the thirst, the worry that everytime Keanu left he would never be coming back. The worry that he’d lay on this damp, cold ground until his last shuddering breath left his body and his heart stopped. </p><p>Callum weeped. </p><p>He couldn’t stop sobbing. Every tear ripped itself out of his throat and wracked his entire body. He’d never felt so hopeless in all his life. Never this low, this cold, this hurt, this alone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <i> Like the wind that cries. I can feel you in the night. A distant lullaby. Underneath the shattered sky. </i>
</p><p> </p><p>Callum wasn’t sure for how long he laid helpless, sniffling into his arm, feeling drained.</p><p>“Come on, you can carry on Callum. You can do this.” He whispered hoarsely to himself, “You can do it for Ben. For Lexi, Stuart, Jay, Lola, Whit, Mick… do it for anyone you’ve ever cared for.”</p><p>Callum tensed his arms and pushed himself up. His arms shook at the strain and his hand cradled his ribs in discomfort. Callum gritted his teeth and carried on until he was fully standing. His vision swam and he steadied himself.</p><p>“Hardest part done.” He lied to himself. He’d take anything at this rate. </p><p>Callum looked round at his surroundings; there had to be something here he could use to get himself out of these chains.</p><p> </p><p>There: that could work.</p><p>Callum stumbled towards a sharp, rusted edge of what looked like to be a desk. All he needed to do was snap the rope and the chains would come off with them. </p><p>With a renewed sense of vigour Callum began to rub his wrists against the metal and couldn’t help but smile - as much as his cheek protested - when the rope fibres began to pucker and break.</p><p> <i> Keep going. </i></p><p>“Come on.” He pleaded, arms beginning to ache from the effort. He wasn’t sure how much he had left in him.</p><p>Something answered his prayers - he felt the chain slip and hit the ground and the ropes snapped off too.</p><p>His chest wheezed at the effort but it didn’t matter. His hands were free, <i> he </i> was free. He let out a little victory laugh, happy to feel happy for the first time in what felt like days. </p><p>With one hand clutched protectively at his ribs, Callum stumbled in the direction he’d seen Keanu go so many times. He could barely walk but the thought of getting outside, seeing some natural light and going back to the ones he loved was what was spurring him on.</p><p> </p><p>
  <i> Just hold on. It won’t be long. </i>
</p><p> </p><p>The factory was starting to feel like a maze as Callum stumbled into various dead-ends. He spotted a set of stairs that seemed like they could lead somewhere. Very carefully, he went down the stairs, gripping the handrail tightly and taking them one at a time.<br/>
In Callum’s mind, that plastic curtain was the marker of being only metres from an exit. It looked promising and wasn’t a dead end. He walked towards it. </p><p>His heart stopped for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>There was no uneven ground, no pipes, no gravel. </p><p>There was nothing except the sensation of falling, falling, <i> falling </i> and then suddenly something solid and the suddenness of it meeting Callum’s body. He couldn’t even make a sound, his brain couldn’t keep up with what was happening. </p><p> </p><p>Darkness crowded into his vision and weights tugged on his eyelids. He could hardly keep his eyes open. Everything was calling at him to shut down, close those heavy eyes, let everything drift away.</p><p>He was fading in and out, unable to move or think or speak. He thought he heard a voice carried in the wind. </p><p> </p><p>No... that was a voice. </p><p> </p><p>Callum tried with all he had to move, to stand up to do anything but all he could manage was a slight twitch of his legs and arms. The footsteps were getting further away, nononono, <i> don’t leave me here. Please don’t leave me here. </i></p><p>“Help.”</p><p>His throat betrayed him. Nothing came out.</p><p>The darkness seeped further in. Pain and tiredness crept round his body, teasing and tugging, dripping out of his skin. </p><p>He closed his eyes and let the darkness take control. To feel nothing for a while. How sweet that would be. </p><p>“I’m so-rry.” He mouthed and went limp, letting memories of Ben float around his head and he sank into nothingness.</p><p> </p><p>
  <i> I’ll be the voice you always know when you’re lost and all alone. I won’t let you go. I will find you here inside the dark. </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you liked it! I can't wait for tonight's episode - I might possibly do another chapter this weekend depending on what happens in tonight's episode. I've been super impressed by this Anniversary week and my heart is breaking more and more.</p><p>The lyrics in the fic are from "Find You" by Ruelle which fits perfectly and is a great song!</p><p>Thanks for reading :)</p><p>My tumblr is rycbarmerlin :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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